RESENTMENT

after the 2nd one, i swore i won't carry his seed ever again. that's how much i resent him. but then God gave me the 3rd. didn't plan it, didn't expect it. ruined my lifelong dream of something. after a month, i found out he betrayed me again. all while knowing i'm carrying the 3rd - which i didn't even want. like how evil. so i let it grow. so it gave me strength - sort of. blessing in disguise? i don't know. all i know is that my life is now back to being awful again. honestly at this point, there's no more love - only obligations.

same old tired lonely place

what kind of life is this, so exhausted. and hard. and dull. like i never deserved happiness. since i was young, i was never truly happy. what did i do so wrong? why can i never find peace. i just wanna sit quietly - feel content and full. i wonder how that feels. everyday i just feel unfulfilled. like why am i still here, hopeless. what's the point of everything. i really don't understand. fed up.