i don't want anything more, than to see your face when i open the door.

i don't know why you have to be so mad. this is me, this is who i am. i'm lousy, i tend to fall easily, i'm not that smart, i don't even know what the hell am i talking or what am i doing, and i'm certainly can't decide and be sure about anything, at all. i've been so polite, i've tried very hard to make things right ; but if you couldn't just take it -- well, it's just too damn bad.

'cause what you did to me, i did to you :D

i ingat mama selalu cakap, tak payah baik sangat dekat orang. belum tentu nanti dia akan buat benda yang sama dekat you jugak. tapi serius, mom do knows the best. takpe kalau kita ada few of reliable friends, daripada bunch of useless creatures dalam hidup. lagi satu, jangan susahkan orang justeru later orang pun takkan susahkan kita. kalau something tu boleh buat sendiri, better do it yourself lah. penat kot dengan jenis yang bila nak sesuatu je baru terhegeh datang carik, bila dah taknak apa-apa jalan sebelah pun boleh bantai pura-pura tak nampak. bila nak mintak tolong, eche bukan main muka tembok lagi kan. bila dah tak perlu apa-apa, nak berlagak macam dah terlampau bagus sangat lah sekarang. sebenarnya kadang-kadang tak payah nak kasi banyak sangat, nanti sampai satu tahap dah takde apa-apa nak bagi lagi macam mana?

you're beautiful -- every little piece, love.

morning : a stupid moron said it won't work out. tried to get it outta my pathetic mind, pointless.

noon : cried a few times, no reason -- just feel like it.

evening : a sweetie said it's okay, i could just ask.

night : good place. good foods. can't believe i messed it all up :( i'm so so sorry, sayang.

late night, early morning : finally have the guts to ask. but i got a " don't know " for an answer, hmm.

nevermind lah, thing is good as it is. just drop it, girl :D you're being impossible.

SECOND THOUGHTS.

haihh what to do? what to do? i feel so tired lah. tired of waiting, tired of wasting, tired of doing things, tired of thinking. i mean yeah, i'm happy. well, at least i think i am. but where is this going? feel like i'm stuck on this position of not knowing, and it's killing me. if only i could write my own life, i'll do it in completely different story. the version that i'm in now is sux, totally.

starstrukk :D

OMFGROFLOLWTFSTFU! i broke my rule of satu hari satu entry :( huhuuu so sad, semua ni sebab internet dekat this bloody place buat hal :( benci benci. kali ni bosan gila lah, class 3 hari seminggu, apa nak buat lagi 4 hari yang free tu? ohh my my, i dah boleh buat buku, tak pun travel some new places every weekends, hahahaa. esok papa bear sudah mahu pulang dari bollywood, tak sabar okayy. teruja nak lompat terbang-terbang. macam my brain yang melayang-layang dekat dissection hall, entah apa pakcik tu merepek, main angguk-angguk kepala je janji dia tak tanya soalan. tolonglah boring gilaaa kot :( feel like banging the wall already. urghh padan lah muka sendiri kan :( bluekk padan muka, padan muka.

HEY LADIES, SEKARANG CINTA PAKAI OTAK. JANGAN MAHU RUGI HATI JUGA RUGI WAKTU.

SLAP SLAP SLAP. RASA NAK SLAP PIPI SENDIRI. STUPID GIRL, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN :( BUAT APA CARIK DIA LAGI? TAHU TAK BETAPA JAHATNYA DIA BUAT KAU DULU. PERLU KE NAK INGAT LAGI? BODOH GILA KAU NI. NAK SEDIH-SEDIH LAGI BUAT APA? BODOH BODOH BODOH. MEMANG BODOH SUNGGUH LAH.

look inside, look inside your tiny mind -- now, look a bit harder.

hey tak perlu lah. tak payah nak fake-fake cakap i miss you, kau rindu aku, apa bagai semua. you got me nauseous lah, eii. perangai macam entah apa-apa.

few more days ♥

eheheee, tak sabar okayy. terasa gedik, but whatever lah. yeayy mahu pulang sudah :)

my to-do-list sepanjang percutian saya di malaysia ini sudah hampir complete. masa pun sudah semakin suntuk. tapi tetiba macam malas nak pergi. nak, memang lah nak sangat-sangat jumpa my papa bear, tapi taknak lah masuk dissection hall tu lagi. two years buat benda yang sama. terasa macam nak mati lah, tak ke?

sorry -- i cannot hear you, i'm kinda busy.

sesetengah orang memang ditakdirkan untuk jadi manusia yang begitu membosankan. tak kira berapa banyak pun kita cuba nak kasi peluang, contohnya mungkin dia tengah bad day ke apa sebab tu dia sangat boring dan memboringkan, tapi next time bila kita jumpa dia lagi, atau cakap dalam telefon ke, atau texting je lah pun kan, dia masih macam tu jugak -- membosankan. terasa sungguh bangang berkawan dengan jenis manusia macam ni, lebih-lebih lagi bila terperangkap dalam situasi yang tetiba awkward. ohh please, blah jauh-jauh boleh? bosan lah.

this is what BFF look like :)

SATU MINGGU LAGI ^^

i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i could type this whole page, and i still miss you. i miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu :D

with your face and your beautiful eyes, and the conversation with the little white lies, and the faded picture of a beautiful night :D

LDR is sooo not for me.

it's boring, it's messy, it's complicated, and it's tiring. enough said.

that could only be explained by one thing -- fate :)

as much as i told myself i'd love this place, i really don't. yeahh few things are good, but most of them are sux. i don't really like being there also. but it's the only place where i got my freedom ( when i'm just busy doing my thing, without the need of getting involved with them -- of course ) and i got him :D i can't wait to finish it all, get the bloody title, and buzz off to some other places. i got this huge massive fantasy of settle down in such places like miami, las vegas, or maybe new york
( woohoo ;p ) -- well, it could have been in a world where nice things happen to me. but in the time being, let's just enjoy the moment. i wanna get back, have fun with plenty of my time taking that one silly subject for the fucking 3rd attempt, and be happy with my precious papa bear :) hey, i sayang you juta-juta banyak macam bintang lah ♥

YOU GOTTA RISK IT TO GET THE BISCUIT :D

what the hell is wrong with you? you want me, so be it. tapi jangan lah fikir i pulak yang nak merangkak terhegeh dekat you, kalau dah you pun duduk je terbangang diam-diam dekat situ. memang tak lah kan. nak tengok pun macam tak menarik langsung kot. lain lah kalau you tu enrique iglesias ke kan logik lah juga. you tak perlu cuba apa-apa pun i dah memang cinta kot ♥

it's like a million little stars, spelling out your name :)

you are literally too stupid to insult :D

hee entry di sini tiada kena mengena dengan tajuk di atas. damn, i hate this part. since when i perlu terangkan whatever post yang i nak publish? yes yes, since orang selalu bising nak tanya i tengah tulis pasal siapa, and since terdapat certain ppl yang tetiba ter-feeling i tengah tulis pasal dia. maaf lah yea ^^

dua minggu, ada 2 kinda news :

1. dapat jumpa si papa bear :) yeay, i miss you macam gila-gila sangat okayy.

2. something dah terlewat. i'm freaking out, i don't know what to think :(

TADI DEKAT KLCC GATAL SANGAT PERGI TANYA PROMOTER TU, GEDIK NAK TRY BAU BENDA NI. OHH I MACAM TERASA NAK MATI. FUCK YOU LAH, BANJINGAN.

but tonight, i'm cleaning out my closet :)

this will be the last holiday i'm going to spend in malaysia. after this, i'm not going back. fuck it lah. home is such a pathetic place. i'm sorry momma. i never meant to hurt you. ( but apparently -- i'm hurting enough. ) lagi pun, i ada few places in my mind ; such as phuket, bandung, bali, etc. nak suruh i travel india memang tak lah kan. i tak suka orang dia. malaysian-indian i suka lah. SHH, DIAM-DIAM :D

dah laa. tak larat dah nak kejar you. i dah penat.

padan lah muka kan ?

see. your blog pun dah lama tak update. pengunjung setia you semua pun duk pakat kutuk you kot. kenapa? dah tak hot dah? sakit dah sekarang? masuk hospital kena AIDS? mesti you dah miskin papa kedana kan? sorry lah i pun taknak kot pedulik your " hyper great " life tu, budget seronok ke nak bazir space dekat my blog yang cute ni for you. even macam takde orang baca pun i susah apa. cuma nya terasa besh i ada bahan nak maki you. HAHA loser, apa kata you pergi mati je. ahh bahagia nyaaa :D

EYH EYH. ORANG TAK HADAP LAH DENGAN BF AWAK. YANG NAK MENGGELABAH SANGAT TU KENAPA? TU LAA, DAH MEMANG DASAR KAMPUNG-FREAK :D

terlebih gedik pun tak elok :D

sorry. tak faham lah dengan couple gedik dekat fb tu. aneh betul, tak ke you both could always 24 hours nak call, text each other, manja-manja ke, ber-ayat manis, jiwang karat, cinta hati, lovey-dovey, bunga bintang semua kan. perlu lagi ke nak public-kan your r/ship ; i love you, i miss you, apa bagai semua dekat wall-to-wall. lepas tu mesti lah ppl tengok, jangan nak perasan ppl teruja sangat nak stalk your life yang " super awesome " tu pulak yea. takkan mesti semua orang suka sangat with ke-sweet-an anda berdua kot. serious menyampah okayy.