then, forget about the idiots. they're going to see what they want to see. even if you completely changed everything, they wouldn't be happy. they don't want you to change, they want you to go away. i've tried that -- i didn't like it.

TOP 5IVE LELAKI HOT SEDUNIA :D

5. WILL SMITH

4. WENTWORTH MILLER

3. JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN

2. JAY SEAN

1. ENRIQUE IGLESIAS

** ciri-ciri yang mesti ada -- badan perlu tough lah kan :) muka jarang senyum, jadi teruja macam gilaaa nak tengok dia senyum :p mata cantek sangat, like OMG! dan bentuk muka macam bersegi, ehehee dagu macho and skin colour mesti lah yang tanned / tak fair baru handsome :D of course, dark hair itu wajib! niceee ^^

i remember when we kissed

i still feel it on my lips

the time that you danced with me

with no music playing

i remember those simple things

i remember 'til i cry

but the one thing i wish i'd forget

the memory i wanna forget

is goodbye ...

i want this to be over, i so want this to be through.

sorry that i skipped one day. i saw you malam hari tu, so i guess i just lost my word to say. dunia macam stop dah masa tu, and to be honest, i never realized how much i rindu you until i tengok you that night ( even it was just for 2 secs rasanya ) my brain macam kosong, and my heart macam hilang tak tahu pergi mana. and i mimpi you also, masa i tidur that night. OMG i rasa macam betul jadi gila lah :(

in a dream, you appeared. for a while, you were here -- so i keep sleeping, just to keep you with me :)

here comes the rain again, falling from the stars :D

okayy. sebab ear-pain tak baik-baik lagi since monday hari tu, so i went to the hospital this morning. the boyfie dropped me, tho' he's not in a good mood sebab ada this one guy keeps on texting me :( hey it's not my fault that he bugs me, right? but anyway, i dah pergi clinic the other day but doctor tu macam sengal gila. nasib baik this time i pergi hospital, the doctor was better. baik, macam tu lah orang suka :) dia letak something in my ear, and i have to get it remove by next monday. so, my hearing ability is officially reduced to half as for now. hahaa entah apa-apa. well, my today's mood is okay-okay only. i rasa sangat slow, and esok ada spotter pukul 3 petang. boleh bayang tak orang buat exams petang-petang like that? urghh tu waktu i tidur lah, kacau betul! and btw i tak study apa pun lagi, lazy bum :p i nak balik malaysia lah, rindu nak makan mcd and kiss my sis :D kenapa aug lambat sangat ni? haihh T_T

lengloi ♥

the boyfie is not well -- he's catching a fever and cold. so i thought i'm baking a cake for him today. to be precise, a moist chocolate cake. hopefully it'll turns out well and he's gonna like it :) will update soon!

I MISS YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS.

how come we never came closer, when all the stars were aligned? i thought we had a moment ...

MOMMY DEAREST :D

i feel so sad today. exam was, haihh. i dunno what to say :( same old, same old. i wanna go back to my hometown. i don't wanna be here anymore. i miss my mom -- tho' i couldn't really talk much to her ( she's too busy, and my probs are too crappy ) but it feels good just to see her. she's the only person on this earth who can forgive me no matter what bullshits i've done. mama, along rindu! nak balik T_T

i know, cantek kan? this is my mom ♥

&& she's wonderful !

SO I LET GO -- WATCHING YOU, TURN YOUR BACK LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.

urghh esok block exams and i tidur je whole day hari ni! gila tak? okayy dah dah, nak start hafal-ing T_T hopefully boleh jawab, i really really need to pass!

so it annoys me

you wasn't man enough

to come and tell me

that i was never the one ...

23 THINGS ?

sebab my syifa darling cakap open-tag, so yeahh :)

1. hello. my name is syamimi farhanah, mostly orang panggil mimi je :D

2. i ada 5 siblings including me, and semua pun girls. woohoo :p and semua name ada syamimi dekat depan :)

3. my birthday is on 9th october, sama dengan HANIS ZALIKHA :D be jealous!

4. i'm doing MBBS, cuma takde lah minat sangat nak jadi doctor tapi dah terambil course ni nak buat macam mana? full scholarship so my parents tak payah bayar apa-apa :p

5. i suka shopping, that's what i do for living :D i boleh jalan sehari suntuk dalam shopping mall, tak rasa penat masuk into each and every shop yang ada. i love klcc the most :) pavilion the second most :p

6. and bila i nak shop, i prefer pergi dengan girls especially yang boleh consult me baju mana yang paling lawa, or apa-apa barang yang sesuai for me lah, sebab i memang tak reti pilih. i pernah nak beli 2 the very same kinda tops sebab i can't make up my mind which colour lagi cantek -- i know, wtf right?

8. and and, sebab i suka shopping, my money selalu habis. but then money selalu datang balik jugak. guess i'm blessed like that :D

9. i paling benci kalau orang sibuk my life as if dia macam takde life sendiri nak jaga. lagi-lagi kalau he / she is not even my friend. GTFO okayy.

10. lagi satu yang i pantang is that orang yang call me masa i tengah tidur. OMGGG i don't care who you are or whether you didn't even know i was sleeping ; just don't call me.

11. ini khas untuk guys ; kalau you janji pukul 7, datang pukul 7 or 7.15 pun takpe. jangan pukul 8 baru terhegeh nak text me cakap pukul 8.30 baru sampai. i sepak you kang? kalau girls takpe, i can tolerate :)

12. lagi satu untuk guys ; kalau 1st date tu plz ohh plz jangan lah bawak i kedai mamak. sangat tak classy okayy, turn-off gila. yang tak bawak pergi makan lagi lah bengong. weh, orang lapar lah sengal T_T

13. kalau i marah i memang akan swear. contoh ayat -- fuck you lah, fuck you very very much! ( haha padan lah muka, siapa suruh carik pasal? ) kalau sampai dah takde point, baru lah i start menangis T_T huu!

14. i tak kesah langsung kalau orang nak kata i gedik. lebih baik jadi gedik daripada jadi weirdo, atau kampung :p gossip girl pun kau tak pernah tengok lagi ada hati nak komen pasal personality orang. hehh kelakar sungguh :D

15. kalau dalam journey jauh for example macam dalam flight, or train, or even kereta pun, i akan dengar my ipod sambil pura-pura tidur. sorry lah yea orang sebelah ; i memang takkan layan you membebel apa :p

16. well anw i tak suka travel pun sebenarnya, leceh. i suka bila dah sampai tempat yang dituju je :p

17. i prefer darker guys, they're wayyy hotter. fair guys nampak macam gay, kah kah :D

18. i takkan, tak mahu, dan tak pernah ada perasaan nak pergi tengok cerita hantu / thriller / bunuh-bunuh orang dekat cinema. hell no T_T

19. i jenis yang akan reply msg laju-laju. i boleh texting sambil lintas jalan tahu tak, haha so kalau i lambat reply tu maksudnya i memang tak perasan my phone bunyik ( which means i tengah tidur, obviously -- sila refer no. 10 ) or i tengah fikir nak reply apa, or i memang tak kuasa nak reply.

20. kalau i call sekali tu sila angkat, i memang jenis tak suka bugging orang nak call sampai 2 3 kali kecuali ada emergency lah kan. macam tu jugak lah i tak suka orang bugging me :p

21. i suka dancing and singing sebenarnya, selalu berangan-angan nak perform dekat crowd tapi sumpah sampai bila pun takkan berani punya :p ehehee.

22. kalau bilik sepah-sepah barang berterabur tu takpe, tapi jangan kotor or smelly ke apa. yeww :(

23. ppl who are most likely to be my bestfriends are those who listen and don't judge :) semua orang pun buat salah kan, so jangan nak berlagak angelic sangat. provided that when we're together ; we're not mem-boring-kan each other. see, simple kan?

stay the hell outta my life lah, you small-minded ppl !

MYOFB, BITCH :D

i jumpa my friend tadi. borak-borak and all, sat lagi dia cakap dekat i yang ada sorang lagi my " friend " ni sibuk tanya whether i pergi clubbing ke tak? i mean like wtf? apesal busybody sangat hal orang ni? kalau i pergi pun kenapa? i masuk sana guna duet you ke? bodoh nya kau ni, semak boleh tak? padan muka sekarang semua manusia-manusia semak dah kena delete from my fb. kah kah kah :D kalau add semata-mata nak stalk life orang, you can go fuck yourself up. come on lah, you mati ke hidup pun i langsung tak kesah but you pulak menggelabah pasal my life kenapa? what the hell is wrong with you? macam takde kerja lain pulak kan nak sibuk hal orang, jaga hal sendiri sudah. stupid moron ppl :p get outta my face lah weh.

sedarkah kau di sini ku pun terluka, melupakan mu, menafikan mu -- maafkan aku :'(

if that's what you want -- all right :)

mari bercakap tentang break-up :) i've been through it so many times that i dah boleh trace dia punya phases :p phase pertama, of course mesti lah sedih. tahap kesedihan pula bergantung kepada betapa sayangnya you dekat dia. lagi sayang, lagi sedih. peringkat paling kronik is that, you akan menangis macam orang gila. maybe this one is applied untuk girls je, but guys also sometimes akan menangis juga. cuma diorang takkan tunjuk je, yelah ego kan :p phase kedua, you akan jadi angry, menyampah, benci, dan seumpamanya. peringkat ni termasuk lah screaming, calling names, throwing things, deleting photos, etc. bab-bab buang barang ni i dah pernah cuba dulu, pastu menyesal. yeahh bila dah masuk peringkat regret, tu adalah phase ketiga. menyesal lah, contohnya you akan fikir balik kenapa semua benda boleh jadi macam ni. and then you akan fikir, what if certain things yang membawa towards the break-up tu tak jadi. pastu you akan teringat semua benda yang buat you happy, masa ni lah you akan rindu sangat dekat dia. beware, this is the most dangerous time. you akan buat benda-benda bodoh such as texting, calling, or even asking that one person to get back together. ohh pathetic :( until one day, bila you dah berjaya get over this phase you akan masuk phase seterusnya -- which is don't bother and don't care. banyak faktor yang mendorong kepada tahap terakhir ni, contohnya kesedaran diri sendiri yang semua pun dah takde maknanya sekarang, or you dah realize how such a loser that person is, or mungkin juga you dah jumpa orang lain yang treat you much better :D so wella!

YOU'LL ALWAYS BE IN MY LIFE, EVEN IF I'M NOT IN YOUR LIFE.

selain daripada results yang menghampakan, no i takde update lain. sebab sekarang musim hujan, perasaan pun emo-ish je. terasa cepat gila annoyed kot. dah laa badan macam bloating sana sini, kuat makan pulak tu. tak boleh elak sebab asek lapar :p pastu exams makin lama makin dekat, takut tapi pemalas nak belajar. macam baca apa pun semua pun taknak masuk, fikiran terbang-terbang tak tahu pergi mana. and the best part is, i'm ridiculosly maseh rindu dekat you :(

tengahari tadi dekat fc i nampak you. hati i macam nak pecah :( so i laju-laju makan, and i nak balik cepat-cepat tak kesah lah hujan lebat ke apa. i nak balik, i taknak tengok you, i tak boleh. i tak tahu sampai bila akan jadi macam ni, tapi i memang tak mahu tengok you lagi sekarang. i benci you buat i macam ni. sakit sangat lah. but at least, i dah tak menangis pasal you lagi. that's a good thing :)

YOU SAID MOVE ON, WHERE DO I GO?

OMGGGG. MINGGU DEPAN ADA BLOCK EXAMS RUPANYA! KENAPA MACAM LAJU SANGAT? I MACAM TAK SEDAR KOT, ENJOY TERLEBIH. SABTU NI SPOTTER -- I'M FUCKING DEAD T_T

this week is officially the boyfie week :) among the nicest things are -- bangun pagi-pagi hujan, sejuk-sejuk lepak dekat balkoni, pergi breakfast, balik tengok movie, order-in pizza, merepek gaduh-gaduh dan making each other annoyed, and malam shisha pulak :D yeah i'm happy, i am. kalau i tak tiba-tiba terfikir pasal someone tu lah :( tak boleh nak buat apa dah.

hanya dirimu yang pernah tenangkan ku dalam pelukmu -- saat ku menangis :')

tak pernah ku mencuba dan tak ingin ku mengisi hatiku dengan cinta yang lain, kan ku biarkan ruang hampa di dalam hidupku ...

bosan lah cakap pasal lelaki, love, semua ni. let's write about something else. kebelakangan ni, i terasa macam stranger dekat tempat sendiri. i barely slept at my place, and most of the time dah tentu mesti ada " bestfriend " si flat-chest tu dekat sini. hehh bukan macam kawan baik pun, more to orang suruhan je i tengok. kena arah itu ini, ahh kesian :p anw bosan boleh? i macam dah tak bebas nak bergerak okayy. and the best part is, diorang boleh pulak buat muka macam haram bila kawan i yang came over. seriously, gila tak fair weh. nasib baik lah korang nak blah dah february depan, sumpah i dah bosan :p sebenarnya kan, lagi cepat B23 blah lagi bagus. semak je semua-semua pun. lagi satu gf si bangang yang paranoid tu, stalk blog orang lah apa bagai. yeww gila tak reti malu kau ni yea dah ar tak hot, hahahaa. except my darling B. lah :( i'll be missing her like hell bila dia pergi nanti, that's for sure. sekarang sebab blog sudah private, baru seronok nak tulis ikut suka :D yeayy.

WOULDN'T YOU SAY YOU WERE LONELY AND LOVE WAS BREAKING YOUR HEART ?

remember, i didn't walk away -- you let me go.

mula-mula i ingat nak isi masa lapang je dengan dia, plus it's easier for me untuk lupakan encik chicken kalau i macam dah ada orang lain, move on semua. tapi sekarang, i dunno. i mula tersuka sikit kot? dia baik lah, layan me baik gila. dia je yang sabar with me kalau sometimes i buat perangai, instead of calling me " emo " :p gosh i hate that term! and last nite, he talked of being the most wonderful guy i ever had. come to think about it -- yeah i think he is :)

today sangat moody, so humour me :D mari bercakap tentang lelaki sour-grape! diorang ni bila kita layan dia dulu, dia budget kita terhegeh sangat nak dia. pastu dia mula menggelabah takut kita tersuka lebih dekat dia, and then dia start lah kasi alasan konon-konon macam dia tak ready lagi apa bagai. i mean like, seriously? yeah we're flirting. tapi kalau you're playing me, i dah played you lama dulu kot :p pastu bila kita dah move on, dia blame kita. dia cakap kita fucked him up. and then bila kita dah hilang feeling, dia cuba datang balik. macam pura-pura je semua tu kan but really, what do you want from me actually? you sebenarnya taknak pun dekat i, tapi you suka perasaan bila i nak dekat you. kan kan? uh-huh i faham dah :)

when people we care about suddenly turn against us, we can come up with all sorts of reasons to explain it -- who knows what really happened?

IF YOU HAVE TO LEAVE, I WISH THAT YOU WOULD JUST LEAVE.

BRAIN : boleh, mesti boleh punya.

HEART : ahh, tak boleh. maseh ingat dia :(

BRAIN : habis tu, cuba fikir boleh buat apa lagi?

HEART : tak, tak boleh fikir. asek rindu dia je, macam gila.

BRAIN : tapi sekarang kan dah happy, layan perasaan sedih kenapa?

HEART : memang taknak, tapi rasa tu selalu je ada.

BRAIN : dah, takde guna. tak payah ingat lagi dah.

HEART : awak senang lah nak lupa semua benda ..

BRAIN : awak tu yang lemah sangat, kuat sikit okay?

HEART : hmm, okay.

sugar town :) :) :)

you know, this isn't the first time

this has happened to me,

this love-sick thing :)

i like serious relationships -- and

a girl like me don't stay single for long

'cause everytime a boyfriend and i break-up

my world is crushed and i'm all alone

the love bug crawls right back up

and bites me and i'm backkk :D

GO-GO-GOAAA :D

tepi jalan :D

lelaki kacak :)

perempuan gedik :p

beach ♥

sand is over-rated, it's just tiny little rocks :)

hey there. sorry for being gone for awhile. i was away and now i'm back :) next entry for the updates sebab kejap lagi ada test tapi tak baca apa-apa yet. urgh benci gila, okay lah see ya!

MY FAULT, YOUR MISTAKE.

why did boys always do that? why they have to justify everything? why can't they just say " i'm sorry ".

hey chicken !

good luck :)

tho' i still marah 'bout everything,

i wish you well anyway.

don't worry so much,

you'll do just fine.

state the obvious, i didn't get my perfect fantasy :p

entry ni khas untuk the super ex-bf, tapi kalau ada anyone nak baca pun boleh je takde hal. ayuhh :D hari tu kan, masa birthday you, my bestie cakap nampak you dekat tempat karaoke. then ada lah sorang lagi kawan my bestie also dekat situ. yang tak boleh blah nya pastu my bestie pun bisik lah kata, eyh eyh itu ex-bf syamimi sambil pointed to you ar kan. then nak tahu apa kawan my bestie jawab? ohh ye ke? buruk gila! kahkah. meh meh replay balik. ohh ye ke? buruk gila! kahkahkah. terhina tak rasa? i pun tak paham kenapa ntah boleh tersuka dekat you dulu, no wonder lah sume orang pun pelik. tak sesuai kot, you buruk gila. mu-ha-ha anw, berapa banyak perempuan hodoh you pergi fuck that day? bagus lah together you guys make super ugly babies, yewww!

HE KISSED MY LIPS, I TASTE YOUR MOUTH. HE PULLED ME IN, I WAS DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF :(

if you want me -- it takes more than a wink, more than a drink, more than you think :)

money is always the issue. i promised to myself, long long time ago, i'm not gonna end up with someone who can't pay for me. i grew up watching how hard was it for my mom to pay for everything, and i don't wanna be that woman. i won't suffer like her. there's no need for you to say money won't buy happiness, or love could conquer it all, or whatever the crap is, i won't buy it. those shits just don't cut it anymore. no matter how hot, how good, or how nice you think you are -- you pay the bill, 'cause that's the deal.