L-O-V-E is just another word i never learned to pronounce.

sedar tak bila kita dah kasi terlalu banyak dekat orang, semua pun hujung-hujung akan jadi sia-sia. dia takkan hargai langsung sebab dia tahu kalau dunia dah nak terbalik sekali pun, kita tetap akan bagi semua untuk dia, demi dia, apa-apa je asal dia happy. jadi, siapa yang bodoh dekat sini sekarang? here's a classic example. R*** -- i'll do anything for him. cerita dulu lah tapi kan. i'd kill for him, if i had to. went behind my parents, buat mama sedih, abah sedih, macam-macam lagi. spent thousands for him, bought him those tommy h tops, bought him that bloody esprit's watch, silly cards & chocolates, ayat bunga-bunga, urghh bangang gila rasa nak muntah sekarang bila ingat, whatsoever lah, and yeah, his mom. god knows how much i berhabis untuk dia, untuk mama dia. i thought we were meant to be, we're supposed to be. itu tak masuk lagi stuffs yang maaf lah, excuse me yea, i wouldn't write it here. ( hey, ada stalkers kot dekat luar tu. oops, jangan kata saya tak tahu ;p ) then what? what did i get in return? ZERO. i failed my studies, i lost my few good friends, i tak tahu mana pergi setahun yang malang dalam hidup, semua masa hilang macam tu je untuk dia. the love of my life konon, oh please, what a crappy bullshit lah. here me out loud, it was a fucking zero investment. rugi lagi ada lah. he never done the same things to me, or to my mom for that matter, he's damn rude to my dad, he's fucking left me for some random bitches, tipu saya, betrayed saya, keluar pergi club mabuk-mabuk sana sini entah dengan berapa juta perempuan, letak status single macam suka hati bapak dia je, cakap problem saya semak, kurang ajar, berlagak, perasan bagus, budget hot, etc lah. so, my point is -- saya taknak kasi apa-apa lagi. never again will i be fooled, to give my all when nothing is true. semua benda, semua pun belum tentu lagi. i don't even know if i really love you. yes, i might have said that once or twice, but i'm sorry, it was just come out of nowhere. i'm not even sure about anything anymore. mungkin saya hanya terlalu, sungguh, dan amat suka dekat awak, but cinta? no no no, i don't think so. fuck L-O-V-E, it does not exist. it's just a biological drug yang buat orang addicted dan sakit, over and over again. fuck it lah. malas nak fikir lagi. bosan dan membosankan. so long and goodbye, sweetheart. i don't even mean this too, you're not sweet, and if you must know ; you don't even have a fucking heart. daa.