you can run, you can hide, but you can't escape :D

ehehee suddenly good things are started to happen. so much for 2 weeks of terrible days, i supposed :) yeayy. i'm single and i'm not ugly ( well i'm not saying i'm pretty, but if you must say :p ) and i totally deserved someone " nice " beside me :D

AND MY LOVE FOR YOU IS BLIND, BUT I COULDN'T MAKE YOU SEE IT.

i sit here typing while listening to " the other side of the door " by taylor swift. and i'm thinking how my most of everything is about HIM. the title of this blog is that one song reminding me to him, together with the picture above, and bunch of blog entries, and barang-barang yang dia kasi, my very first v-day card, the crystal, the taj mahal, semua pun is still there. i never touched them since the day we broke-up, i didn't even bother to move them into the locker or anything. i just let them stood there, as i watched them everyday. i really miss him, i really care for him, but i'm done trying. i don't want to be the one yang selfish just because i need him tapi dia tak perlukan i. i taknak push ppl around. i taknak paksa dia to be with me just because i want him. i sayang dia, and apa-apa yang buat dia happy, i pun happy. if it means i have to feel this huge pain in my heart every night, so be it. i promised him i'll be fine, and if it means i have to fake a smile everytime, so be it. and so, here i am -- smiling :)

it's time to nut up, or shut up.

i'm having a weird stomach ache these past few days, with burning sensation, as if it's gonna burst or something. lepas tu ada this uneasy feeling, rasa cepat annoyed dekat semua orang and semua benda, plus a bit of dizzyness. weather dekat sini yang fucking fucked-up, kejap hujan ribut sampai banjirkan my room, basahkan my bed and all, then pulak panas sampai boleh buat orang nak mati. i bukan suka whining ( or maybe sikit-sikit lah ) but memang there's a lot to whine about. dah tu bosan gila, tahap boleh mati sebab bosan. pastu susah nak tidur, class test jawab macam haram kot, terasa begitu pathetic and such a loser. okay lah benci, bye.

ONCE A GOOD GIRL GONE BAD -- WE DIE FOREVER.

faham tak the sole reason i applied for studying in oversea sebab i nak jauh-jauh daripada you? faham tak sebenarnya i saje-saje je dapat 10A sebab i memang nak blah. faham tak? pedulik apa you nak cakap pandai je tak guna. i memang tak pandai, and i memang tak pernah baik. tak tahu apa pasal dari dulu sampai sekarang, i ni nampaknya sangat jahat dan buruk di mata you. tak tahu apa salah i yang besar sangat, semua benda semua pun tak kena. i dah fed-up lah. dah bosan, dah tak larat okayy. dah malas nak cakap apa-apa lagi. i tak kesah i got a sucky course doing in this sucky place. yang penting anything and anywhere is always better than you and whatever you got there. urgh, thank GOD i'm far away from you. inilah benda paling nice yang berlaku in my life :D i'm glad.

there'll be no more trying again, no more coming back, no more forgiving you, no more thinking :)

okay lah. i dah give up. and i have no regrets, i wish you the very best in all that you do. farewell.

you chose to surrender the best thing that's happened to you ; what were you missing? were you just tripping?

yeayy, akhirnya berjaya dapatkan my first skinny :D
( gedik je beli padahal diri sendiri tak skinny pun )

- light blue
- comfort low waist
- skinny fit
- mild wash
- BENETTON

actually nak yang blackie, tapi itu tunggu beli MANGO or ZARA nanti lah. neng-neng excited gila, esok nak pakai sambil usha-usha my eye candy. siapa? rahsiaaa. HAHAA anw, thx B and her family :) i heart you guys banyak-banyak sangat lah! muax muaxx :) :) :)

what happened? the cup of hot tea sudah jadi cold :( what always happens -- life.

" bila aku harus mencintai dan berbagi hati, itu hanya denganmu. namun bila aku harus tanpamu, akan tetap ku harungi hidup tanpa cinta.. "

wherever i go, i won't forget about you. wherever you go, don't you forget about me :)

they say love is just a game

they say time can heal the pain

sometimes you win, sometimes you lose

and i guess i'm just a fool

i keep holding on to you

i told you once, you were the one

you know that i'd die for you

although it hurts to see you go

oh, this time you should know

i won't try to stop you

don't you forget about me, baby

don't you forget about me now

someday you'll turn around and ask me,

why did i let you go?

so, you try to fake a smile

you don't wanna break my heart

i can see that you're afraid

but baby, it's to late

'cause i'm already dying..

" i'll be seeing you "

5 AM in the morning, and i'm still awake. i just watched this movie titled " THE NOTEBOOK " and i swear, it's like the best love movie ever. from 1:35 onwards, i swear i couldn't stop crying up until the story ends. it's just too deep, i swear. semua orang patut tengok, kalau tak, tak lengkap hidup. sumpah.

I'M GOOD, I'M GONNA BE FINE :D

" let go when you're hurting too much

give up when love isn't enough

and move on when things aren't like before

for surely there is someone out there

who will love you even more. "

agak-agak kalau i pujuk you balik, you okay tak? tapi kenapa mesti i? kenapa bukan you? ahh boleh jadi gila tau macam ni, i miss you lah :( i really do.

kata orang rindu itu indah -- namun bagiku, ini menyeksa.

i don't wanna hold you if you don't wanna tell me you love me, babe :'(

" just know, i'm gonna have to walk away. i'll be big enough for both of us to say -- be happy. "

so baby, if you know everything, tell me why you couldn't see -- when i left, i want you to chase after me.

lu apehal. gua kenal lu ke masalahnya sekarang. budget dah pernah satu batch dengan gua, lu ingat gua pedulik pasal lu ke. name lu pun gua tak tahu, tak teringin nak amik tahu pun sebenarnya. nak kata lu caring pasal gua, tak pernah-pernah pulak kan. rasanya tak langsung dalam sejarah hidup gua ada berkawan dengan lu. tak kuasa pun, lu tak cukup hot kot. HAHA dah tu sat lagi macam kurang ajar sangat kepoh nak tahu gua duduk mana apa bangang sume apesal. lu interested nak bayarkan sewa ke? nak kata bodoh, lu pass, gua failed. suka sangat lu kan nak menyibuk hidup gua, menarik sangat yea? tolonglah, mak gua pun tak kesah kot. lu pulak yang lebih-lebih, wtf? alim-alim pun kalau tak takde manner tak boleh jugak. yang sorang lagi tu dah jelas dan nyata perangai kampung, memang tak boleh nak cakap apa dah. gua memang tak suka nak cemarkan blog gua yang cantek ni dengan maki-maki lu, tapi lu tu yang carik nahas dulu kan. cuba lu jangan tetiba nak interfere hal orang, gua pun takde ar sentap kan. eii benci lah.

FOREVER MORE, I SWEAR :D

" they're all part of the list, things that i miss ; things like your funny little laugh, or the way you smile, or the way we kiss. and you live in my memories -- forever more, i swear. "

standing out in the rain, knowing now it's really over -- please don't leave me alone :(

apa lah, buat orang sedih je. dah laa, nak pergi mati kejap. nanti-nanti esok lusa kalau terasa ada mood, hidup balik. boleh tak? dah macam nak gila :( so sad.

APA YANG YOU NAK SEBENARNYA? OHH YES, I'M AGREED WITH UNCERTAIN. OHH NO, YOU COULDN'T BE BOTHERED. TAHU TAK BETAPA DUNIA I ASEK REVOLVED AROUND YOU JE, AND SEDAR TAK BETAPA UNFAIR IS THAT? I TAK BOLEH EMO KALAU I TUNGGU BERAPA LAMA NAK JUMPA YOU LEPAS TU YOU SURUH I BALIK CEPAT BECAUSE APPARENTLY YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO DO, TAPI YOU BOLEH EMO PASAL MY STUPID FAKE STATUS. YOU TAKNAK SERIOUS, TAPI I TAK BOLEH MAIN-MAIN. YOU BOLEH DATANG PERGI DEKAT I IKUT SUKA HATI YOU, I TAK BOLEH DATANG PERGI DEKAT YOU IKUT SUKA HATI I. YOU TAK TAHU WHERE I STAND, TAPI I TAK BOLEH FALL FOR YOU. YOU MARAH BILA KATA I BROKE, TAPI I TAK BOLEH MINTAK TOLONG ORANG LAIN. YOU BOLEH KASI I SILENT TREATMENT, YOU BOLEH TINGGAL I ANYTIME, YOU BOLEH PUJUK I ANYTIME, YOU BOLEH CAKAP SORRY ANYTIME, YOU BOLEH CARIK I ANYTIME. IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, YOU, AND YOU. AND THE BEST PART IS, I'M THE ONE TO BLAME.

i told you i'm not bulletproof -- now you know.

i'm sick and tired of your attitude

i'm feeling like i don't know you

you tell me that you want me then cut me down

i'm sick and tired of your reasons

i've got no one to believe in

you ask me for my love then you push me around

why do you have to make me feel small

so you can feel whole inside?

why do you have to put down my dreams

so you're the only thing on my mind?

girls. don't ever ever trust the sweet talker guys, never! lelaki memang ditakdirkan untuk tak jadi romantik, that's how their feelings work. justeru kalau dia tak tahu apa pasal bukan main pandai lagi nak mengayat bunga-bintang semua, sah-sah sangat lah ada motif lain dekat situ. macam my bestie cakap, penjahat sebenarnya :D HAHA kelakar okayy.