tahun baru ke, minggu baru ke, hari baru ke, semua sama je. jadinya apa-apa saje lah saya pun tak kesah.

popping pills.

TAK, TAK ADIL TAK. KENAPA MESTI SAKITKAN DIRI SENDIRI TAK?

GO AHEAD AND GET GONE !

apa mslh dgn lelaki ni sbnrnya? bila org x nk, sibuk pksa-pksa. bila org dh accept, x mau nk appreciate. dh tu bila org blah, nk sakit hati plak. then dh jumpa yg len, p carik org lg wtpe? apa ke desperate sgt weh. abis dh org reject, lg nk terhegeh ke. mcm-mcm hal. bila org x koser nk amik tahu dh, baru mnyesal plak. x phm bahasa ke, apehal mcm bangang sgt. tlg lah seumur idup asek jumpa dgn jerk je, apa kejadah nya. dunia ni dh pupus dgn manusia normal ke. sume nape prangai mcm sengal. berambus jauh-jauh dr idup org bleh x? semak ah.

ignore, ignore, ignore.

how to stay by yourself and get away from people? just ignore them. aku hampir gila untuk kau yang tak berapa nak worth it. please, i wanna dissapear. damn it. i have suicidal thoughts like everyday. this isn't normal. benci, manusia memang hipokrit. nak pergi lari. semua dah hancur, hilang sebab kau. hidup memang palat. screwed you, screwed all of you.

loneliness is tragical.

i'm running outta topic to say. my life has becoming so lame lately. hari-hari buat benda yang sama, phone pun diam je.

LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT MY FACE. DO I LOOKED LIKE I CARE? STFU.

my dream place :))

so how's that?

ohh, i didn't sleep the whole night. haha terbaik. well, a quickie update. i dah burned candle yang you kasi. i also dah tengok crite twilight : new moon. i dah simpan ear-rings dari goa tu dalam laci, tak mau pakai dah. i langsung dah tak dengar lagu down by jay sean pun sekarang sebab dah muak. i dah tak nanges ingat you lagi. whatever has happened between us, it doesn't mean anything. we're nothing. you're nothing. i guess goodbyes really are forever.

to stuck on you wasn't my plan, at all. i thought we're just hanging out. but then you kissed me. you called me beautiful. we had awesome times together. i'm happy. you're happy. we're happy. i dreamed about you and me. suddenly you have to leave. i broke down crying, i was begging you not to go. but you left, anyway. i don't know what else to do, i can't even think. until now, i'm still bummed. why do you always do this to me? why couldn't you just see it through me? how come you act like this, like you just don't care at all? do you expect me to believe i was the only one to fall?

two things :

1. i wanna stop thinking.

2. i wanna stop feeling.

to hell with the brain and the heart, today i stop caring.

" death is peaceful, easy. life is harder. "

after everything.

i said leave, but all i really want is you :(

DANG !!

meluat dgn perangai manusia masing-masing. meh sini aku sekeh-sekeh kepala kau. lelaki satu hal. klau dh prmpuan tu balas kau pnya text, x mkna dia tu dh syok nk mati layan kau. sengal ke. dh kang klau x reply kata berlagak lah sombong lah, menggelabah. pstu klau dia tgk dkt kau, x mkna dia dh jatuh hati nk mampus dkt kau. dia tgk smbil pk apsal lah kau loser sgt kot, kau mana tahu ye x. dress-up mcm noob ke kn, kau mana sedar. dh tu klau prmpuan tu nk make-up ke, pakai lawa ke, kau kesah apa. kau dh kemaruk sgt ke smpai benda cmtu x tahan, pstu meroyan kutuk prmpuan tu bitch ar, cheap ar x psl-psl. apa ke sakit. kampung sgt tu. dh dia hot, kau x hot, kau susah apa. terasa bangang ke sbb x dpt. dh tu x puas hati plak kn. x pn kau dh malu sgt kot apehal ar awek kau hodoh kn, nk amik yg cantek mau-mau org len bantai gelak je. pathetic. yg prmpuan plak lg satu. dh nmpk prmpuan len lg cun ke kn, pakai up sket, kau nk tuduh social laa apa gaban lg. kau apehal. dh kau tu miskin sgt takat nk beli baju dkt padini pn nk pk 12 juta kali kn, yg girl kau x bleh nk hadap sgt tu plak tommy h dia pakai buat tido je kot dkt umah. sentap ar skrg kn lelaki len tgk dia, x tgk kau. pstu lagak berkeagamaan mcm bagus sgt men sukati judge org x tentu psl. cacat ke. otak tu taruk mana. alim lah sgt klau blkg org duk mngumpat, ckp mulut sume kau babi bodoh pukimak sume kuar. hek eleh, ni nk cool sgt meh sini aku taip sket dpn-dpn haa. EAT SHIT AND DIE lah bhai!

was he worth this mess?

i saw you today, but from behind only. (bunyi mcm stalker je, ntah pape. pedulik ah) i dunno was it me, or mmg you ada pusing blkg tgk i. sengal gila, smpai bila nk cmni. smpai bila i nk kena rindu dkt you cmni. benci ar weh. penat tahu tak rasa cmni. kn bagus klau bleh delete je you dr otak i, buat semak je. bkn bleh guna pape pn.

I MISS YOU A LOT TODAY. I'M LOSING IT. I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG I'M GONNA STAY THIS WAY, IT HURTS SO BAD I COULD DIE. BUT YOU WON'T BE AROUND TO SEE ME BLEED AND BROKEN. YOU LEFT ME, AND THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO? EVIL.

hate ( i really don't like you )

i fucking hate what i'm doing right now. i fucking hate this place. i fucking hate those people around. i fucking hate the sound, the weather, the food, fuck yeah i fucking hate everything. i just wanna get the fuck out of here. fuck.

what took you so long? why aren't you here already? don't you know how much i'm dying? how bad i'm hopeless and helpless right now. can't you feel it? i couldn't stand it anymore. i need you. please, come and save me. i'm begging you.

MONSTERRR.

HE ATE MY HEART, HE ATE MY HEART. THAT BOY IS A MONSTER.

i'm walking away.

we are good. the world is good. life is long, there will be pain but life goes on. things are not gonna stop just because somebody gets heartache, and i might as well just need to keep up with that. i have to pull myself together. it's okay to cry, to do crazy stuffs here and there, but too much would be a mistake. and my tears won't change anything ; i know i wish that it did, but it just doesn't work like that. past is past, fuck it. who gives a shit anyway?

you know what sucks? realizing that everything you believe in is a complete and utter bullshit. it sucks. you know, destiny, and soul mates, and true love, and all that childhood fairy tale nonsense. these are lies, we're liars. what does that even mean, love? do you know? do you? anybody?